day seven...this is not the sweatshirt that you are looking for

some reflections on day seven 

(I know it is day eight, people) 

Last week in Christian Believer (bible study) we talked about the Christian Life and how because of your self-proclaimed desire to be more like Christ and your self-proclaimed belief in him (whatever that includes) your life ought to be different.

I grew up in a Christian household. Church for the most part was part of what we did; belief certainly was. My faith is something that I have worn like a comfy sweatshirt that marks my support for the home team. I don't wear it because it marks my support for the home team, I wear it because it is my favorite, it has always been there, even if it at times it has gotten pilly, been stained or the drawstring got stuck in the hood. I have worn it in the winter and I have worn it in the summer of my life. It has kept me comfortable and at times it has made me uncomfortable. It has made me feel at home with my people and it has made me like a stranger and an enemy with others.

But that sweatshirt has very rarely made feel as out of place like this Lenten journey.

If you know me, you know that I wear my faith like a jean jacket at a black tie event. I am real, the darkness of my life is real, the light that I have experienced is real. I don't know how to live another way and frankly, I have no interest in trying to figure out to. The fact that I referred to my faith as a sweatshirt instead of a techno-color-dream-coat says something in itself.

But bringing my own silverware and cloth napkin out to restaurants, looking at the recyclabity of plastics and packaging at the store, bringing my own containers to compost leftovers, and saying, "no, I cannot have one because of the way that it is packaged"--a lot-- has made me more aware of my faith than I have been in a very long time.

I have gotten very comfortable in my sweatshirt.

But this Lent I feel very exposed.
And I am good with that.
It is a great reminder to me that I should not blend in (which is hard for me to do anyway)
It's a great reminder to me that my life is always speaking about what I believe