as I drove up to camp glisson on monday, i was thinking about how hard the ministry is. now, as you read this, i want you to know that i cannot image myself doing anything other than ministry.
which is not a statement about my imagination.it is also not a statement about how i view my ability to be employable in other fields. there are very view jobs that i feel that without the right training i could not do.i could not do math for a living.i could not do mayonnaise for a living.i could not do crafts for a living.
there are however clergy who can’t imagine themselves doing other things because it is all they have ever done. some of these should find something else to do. they’d be happier. the church would be stronger. good people—just not where they should be be.
while i love the ministry... i love being with people as they mourn, celebrate, remember; i love being a part of their most joyous and most desperate moments; i love helping them see God around them... and while i love all of these things and am marveled by the blessing that God has given me by calling me to this, i still believe in my deepest being that ministry is one of the hardest jobs ever. and i wouldn’t
even if i could
change that for the world.
but it’s not for everybody.
i don't try to talk people into the ministry. i have on more than once occasion tried to talk someone out though.
and I have made my fair share of mistakes in my ministry. i have hurt God’s kingdom.
of course, not on purpose. but i have made mistakes. so, here are some of them.
i sure hope none of these are chargeable offenses...
I have not prayed for my congregation beyond myselfprayer changes things. not in the God is my favorite santa kind of way. but it changes how you view people. you cannot bring someone into your private time with God and not have it change the way that you view them. if i talked to God the same way that i talked to people in traffic then that wouldn’t be true. but even though i sometimes swear in my prayers i know that God hears, that God can handle those raw emotions and help me work through them so that i can handle them in public.
i should pray specifically for my leaders every day. i should pray for the finances of the church everyday. instead my prayers are often give me wisdom, help me with this situation, and be with this family that is hurting.those are not bad prayers.
but i need to dedicate more specific time to praying for the church and her leaders in ways that would really make us the church. not in ways that make my job easier.
I have been too comfortable i am me. i am casual. i am often offensive. sometimes, i get too comfortable with people who expect me to be some other way. i am no francis of assisi. hell, i am no francis bacon (which if i was going to be a francis i would pick one named after that awesome food); i am no francis asbury; i am no francis ford coppola. i am more of a frank. like being too frank. i have been known to be naked instead of transparent. and i realize that sometimes that has hurt. it has hurt others. it has hurt the kingdom. it’s hurt relationships.
I have taken things personallyseriously, who hasn’t it. but when someone yells at you. when someone freaks out and goes after you, it is often not really about you. you can see it other people’s situations but it is hard to see it in your own. often times it is not about you. people treat you a certain way because of what is going on inside of them. this is hard to grasp when you are vulnerable and ministry is a place of vulnerability.
I have struggled with how we treat the churchsometimes i just want to treat the church like a business: fire people who are lazy, manipulative, crazy, and haters. other times, i am reminded of my amazingly high ecclessiology. i want and expect the church to change the world and, damn it, the church seems like it cannot change a light bulb most days. as a matter of fact we can’t where i am not because they are too high end and no one can figure out how. so there.
i want the best of both worlds most of the time. in essence, i forget about how special the church really is and i treat it like another business. i forget about the love, grace, sharing, compassion, and tender-heartedness that we are to embody. and that kills the church.
we cannot forget.
jesus says remember.
because remembering is doing.
and doing is changing.
which leads to hope.
